I'm fine

Went to the funeral home this morning and talked with Kathy and looked at the photos of her husband and her and I believe she is going to be ok. It is going to be tough but she has vowed, with the help of Eric's mom, to finish the house. I stayed for about 30 minutes which is 25 more than I can handle and went to the feed store.
Started buying 500# pounds of feed at a time now which actually costs less than me buying a few bags at a time. When I got home Mike happened to be checking the hay fields so I asked if could help me unload and stack them next to the feed bins which he did. Thank you my man!
Fed the dogs and lay down for a bit then go back to funeral home for the memorial service. Well, I did go back to the funeral home but just could not convince myself to go inside. I even shut the truck off. But I couldn't do it and if anyone saw me I hope they understand. But I will visit Kathy and hope that she and SYlvia come for coffee or tea from time to time.
The wind has really picked up in the last few hours to the point of going out and locking down the barn doors. I tried to put the horses in the barn but they had a fit and would not settle down so put them back out with extra hay and they went and cuddled up with Red behind the barn by the shelter and with ears at half mast and cocked foot promtly went into snooze mood. Animals!
I was able to get some sleep without the bad dreams and think I will be able to sleep tonight. Even with the winds (Hurricane Sandy super storm) howling and banging things around I'll be ok.
Klaus is up in Escanaba to work so to me he is nearby. He has been steadily getting the barns rewired, which is hard to do when you are only home 24 to 48 hrs at a time. some aisle lights and a switch in my barn and finishing up in his barn and those will be done.
I'm going to take my tired self to bed so I can see what trouble will be witing for me to get into tomorrow!

At a loss for words

Life truly isn't fair, it seems, to us at times. And Friday is the perfect example. I went to the grocery store Friday morning after making one unintentionable stop. I rushed through the store hoping to save time so I could get back home and finish up a sewing job for the horse rescue Red came from. I always take 53 N to Bowers and turn left and make my way home. This time I never got to Bowers although it was right there. Six cars back from first car I saw the semi slide into the ditch, rock sideways, but remain upright. I saw a small fire start in the lower left front and people running all over the place. Within seconds the entire cab of the truck was engulfed in flames and the sky and roadway turned black with thick, acrid smoke. AND CARS KEPT COMING FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION THROUGH THAT HAZE! The fact no other accident occured was amazing. I didn't want to sit there much longer but heard sirens getting closer so none of us moved. Once the fire dept arrived we all started to turn around to take other roads heading North. Told Klaus about the accident and could still taste and smell diesel fuel so once groceries were put away, took a long hot shower.
Later that evening a friend called to say that one our girlfriend's husband was killed in a crash earlier in the morning and when she told me where I nearly fell over. I immediatly called my husband downstairs and told him it was Kathy"s husband, Eric, who had been killed.
What I didn't see at the accident site was her car because it was to the side and partially under the semi. And today I learned that while having to sit there watching that truck burn, Eric was still in the car. They said he died on impact, it was head on, and didn't feel a thing. Why is that supposed to make it better? I have always hated that phrase.
I feel guilty for having watched that truck burn not knowing someone was dead. She feels guilty having sent him to the store. When I look back on yesterday I remember seeing the car take the curve, no brake lights, then the semi going into the ditch. I did not see the collision, only the aftermath. I don't have the words to express how I feel but had to go see her this morning and just hug her and hug I did and just listened until she began blaming herself. I know that's how we think. I did the same thing after my riding accident and beat myself up so badly it took 30 yrs to ride again.
So while we try to figure out the whys and what ifs, life goes on around us. I wish I had the right words to say to comfort her but as harsh as it sounds, she has to want to be comforted and move on. Maybe if one of her sister's can give me some of his clothing, I can make a quilt for her to help her heal. All I can do is ask. 

I AM BACK

Yes it has been nearly a year and a half since I last posted anything but so much has happened in that time frame not sure where to begin!
We spent most of last Summer looking at properties, coming down to inspection only to find something majorly wrong, or house was sold before our offer got there. Plus we were getting farther and farther away from everything.
So believe it or not we found a wonderful, 23 acre property with 2 barns, a huge pond, great house on high dry ground!
We acquired a new dog, her name is Kinzi and she is an Australian Cattle dog.
Tink passed away shortly after Christmas.
And we have a third horse! He is a 17 hh Belgian draft I got in Ohio. His name is Red and he is wonderful.
These are some of the things I will get into more detail on later, but I am back and hope to keep this blog going again.