What was that?

I don't know what happened to me the other day. I was just putting my right leg over Meins' back and had a sudden flashback that just dropped me to the mounting block in tears. My horse did not do anything. He was standing there waiting for me to get on.
I got bucked off last year but I was back on in less than 10 minutes despite being hurt. Don't worry tho I always manage to get over it. I have considered hypnotherapy but I had tried that before for weight loss and gained even more. I need to find and talk to someone who had gone thru a bad episode with their horse and got over that fear and how they did it. I find that talking to someone that has never had a serious injury, of any kind, not just with horses, really do not understand what that pain and fear is like. Nor do I believe they understand the mental anguish we go thru trying to "just get over it". It is not that easy. It was 30 yrs before I started to really ride again. I rode Meins for two years, stayed off (medical reasons) for a year and now I'm breaking down. The desire is there, I'm always suited up to ride. I've been on him off and on over the past year so what gives?

Horses have been too much a big part of my life and I am stubborn enough to keep trying. Giving up is NOT an option!
Any ideas other than psychotherapy?